Stoicism or Self-Neglect?
Many young adults in today’s world are involved in the growing idea of stoicism.
As a mental health professional, I'm always a bit skeptical when it comes to pop-psych, but I thought I'd learn more.
I can't say that I dislike the nature of stoicism itself. It's a deeply rooted tradition in philosophy as well as an important aspect of cultures around the world.
While the history of stoicism is intriguing, I am still skeptical of its integration with Western "self-improvement" culture.
While there's potential for stoicism to be used in healthy ways, there is also a massive potential for it to justify self-neglect.
In this article, we will dive into stoicism, self-neglect, and which is which.
What is Stoicism?
There appears to be several categories of formal stoicism.
One version is the philosophical concept that stems back to ancient Greece. The term stoic comes from the teaching of Zeno, a Greek philosopher.
He taught that virtuousness and acceptance are both key to achieving a fulfilling life.
However, just because the word stoic originated in Greek philosophy doesn't mean the idea itself wasn't already embedded in cultures around the world.
Cultural stoicism has been a crucial aspect of certain societies throughout history, emphasizing connectedness with nature and the importance of acknowledging your bounds of control. It can provide a sense of harmony and help you find your place in the world.
While some versions of stoicism are philosophical and cultural, the most recent version is modern stoicism, which has emerged out of self-improvement culture.
This version emphasizes personal virtues such as discipline, justice, courage, and wisdom.
To be fair, these don't sound half-bad in theory.
However, these are all outcome-dependent. To be disciplined you must act disciplined - to be courageous you must act courageously.
It has transformed inner peace into something you earn. This is more reminiscent of America's obsession with self-improvement as a response to low self-esteem.
If you already believe the only thing special about you is the virtue of what you do, you might be attracted to modern stoicism.
Philosophical and cultural perspectives of stoicism emphasized that action was an outcome of inner peace and harmony, not the other way around.
It's also important to know that in the late 16th century, the (Old) English word stoic also took on a new meaning - "person not easily excited, person who represses feelings or endures patiently".
This change probably led us to the modern interpretation of stoicism.
It represents the desire to earn inner peace through virtuous actions and repressing emotions.
However, the concept of modern stoicism does resemble a justified version of self-neglect.
What is Self-Neglect?
While it sounds simple, neglecting yourself is anything but.
Neglect means to ignore - what parts of yourself could you possibly ignore?
Let's take it from a Cognitive Behavioral (CBT) perspective. You can neglect your thoughts by doubting anything that comes to mind. In fact, that's what modern stoicism often recommends to fix negative emotions.
You can decide to repress your negative emotions as something you shouldn't have and ignore positive emotions because they're something you shouldn't seek.
Self-neglect is ignoring your physical, emotional, or social needs.
Why might someone neglect themselves? As a therapist, I can tell you it could be in part due to low self-esteem.
Self-esteem is belief in your worth, and if you don't think you're worth advocating for, it shows in your actions.
At the same time, you might be driven to act purely on other people's "should's". Essentially, others' obligations or expectations for you might be stronger than your own motivations.
Self-neglect is abundance of action to appease others, yet ignorance of yourself and your internal experiences.
What is the Overlap?
There's plenty of crossover between self-neglect and modern stoicism.
Both can emphasize an increase in virtue driven action. You can easily try to act more disciplined and virtuous if you are nothing special without it.
Both concepts involve a repression of your emotions.
Both self-neglect and modern stoicism resemble an expectation where "out makes in" rather than "in makes out" - you become someone by action rather than your actions being informed by being who you are.
As a result, both modern stoicism and self-neglect can be USED to navigate low self-worth, but usually in a way that doesn't fix the actual problem.
Lasting and healthy psychological change grows from the inside out. Ironically, this is where cultural and philosophical concepts of stoicism might align with clinical psychology.
The Answer Might Be the Original Versions
Inner peace and harmony are the source of virtuous actions, not the result of it.
Zeno's teachings included the concepts of acceptance. Not just of yourself, but what is out of your control.
This is not same as indifference. Acceptance is healthy and a crucial part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
In addition to acceptance, connectedness with nature has shown to have incredible benefits for the mind and body.
Harmony, with others, the world, and ourselves, addresses the three basic perspectives that are treated in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
As it turns out, historical and cultural versions of stoicism are more aligned with current psychological practices than modern stoicism.
I can tell you, as a psychologist, mental health is NOT born from believing you're worthy only because of what you do.
If I can stop you from achieving, do I keep you from your worth? If the answer is yes, then you need to address your self-esteem.
Final Thoughts
To be clear, not everybody uses stoicism with the same intentions.
With modern stoicism, I'll just say there is a higher chance it could be used to try and compensate for low self-esteem due to its conceptual overlap with self-neglect.
But ironically, historical and cultural practices of stoicism appear to be aligned with psychological practice and health.
My suggestion is if you're going to practice stoicism, use the healthy kind laid out by thousands of years of history.
Healthy stoicism is acceptance of your emotions, not the neglect of them.
It’s coming to see yourself as a worthy person, and letting that worth emanate through virtuous actions.
Healthy stoicism is connecting with nature and finding harmony between you, others, and the world.
It is not the absence or ignorance of yourself - it is being at peace with who you are and acting like it.
